Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
