She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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