Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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