Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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