My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
