i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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