Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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