i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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