wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think I died a long time ago.
it hurts more in the daytime
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
