Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize