you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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