he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
