I should be sponsored by Trojan
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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