that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
