I wannas sexs uuuuu
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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