WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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