I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
