Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.

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(703): View more from Virginia

look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night

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(206): View more from Washington

Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?

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(541): View more from Oregon

i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.

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(+63): View more from

I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.

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