I just cut my nipple shaving
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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