I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
