just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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