i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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