Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
