it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
