pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
