So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im six kinds of drunk right now
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
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We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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