apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I look better un-naked...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
