how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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