his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
