i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
