I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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