Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
