Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
