i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
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I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
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You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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