guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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