I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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