like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
