Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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