So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
