pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
