She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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