apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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