Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
