You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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