i think i have two assholes
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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