My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
