I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
