I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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