"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
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