so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
