Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
