Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
