I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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