He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
