sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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