remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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