There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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