also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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