just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
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You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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