Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
