Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Man, jail baloney is awful.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
